I find it difficult

I find it difficult as I get older and members of my family leave us.  I have struggled with my own mortality.  How will I be mourned?  How will I be remembered?  Technology now allows us to memorialize people with videos and photo montages.  Music in the background and pictures before our eyes.  For loved ones it can be a both a lovely treasure and a deeply emotional experience.  For the person making the video it is different.  Don't get me wrong, it's a deeply emotional experience but I have not watched any video again.  I immerse myself in the photos, discover names and places.  It's like getting to know the people in a different and personal way.  I see the love and happiness in their eyes through the photos and it's lovely, sad and heartbreaking all at the same time.   
I get lost in the process and lose sense of time.  To say I like it would be terrible, because who likes making a video for a funeral or memorial?  But to say it gives me a great sense of peace?  I think that is more appropriate.  I get to experience their lives and the joyful moments they had and relive those happy times over and over while editing.  It does have an impact on my music though...a song is forever remembered attached to that person.  Rhys comes to my mind every time I hear "I'm to sexy" and "what a wonderful world" from the lovely video that was done for his service ( Not by me).  Those songs become "off limits" for other things.  I hope I can make the right choice for my uncle.  He loved the ocean, fishing and the beach and I think the songs I've chosen fit his nature.  Rest in peace Uncle Fra.